How to Know It’s Time To Switch Schools: A Parent’s Journey
January 7, 2025
When your child is struggling, how do you know when it’s time to switch schools? A parent and educator, Holston Academy’s Head of School, gives three signs to watch for.
Guest blog written by Dr. Christina Seamster, Head of Schools for Holston Academy and Palm Beach International Academy, Boca Raton.
As both a parent and head of a school, I’ve had a front-row seat to the challenges and triumphs that children experience throughout their educational journey. But no role prepared me for the heartbreak of watching my own daughter go from a joyful, confident student who loved school to a child who dreaded each day with anxiety and exhaustion.
It’s a story I never imagined would take place in my own home, but one that has taught me some valuable lessons about when it’s time to make a change, even when you want so badly for everything to work out. I’m sharing my story so you’re able to identify the early signs that something isn’t right with your child’s school experience. By doing so, you can begin to explore and pursue alternative education solutions before the situation impacts your child’s love of learning.
Here are three signs that might tell you it’s time to switch schools, drawn from my own personal experience.
A Shift in Attitude Toward School
When my daughter, Emma, was younger, she practically skipped to school every morning, singing along to whatever song was playing in the car. She was excited to see her friends, eager to dive into learning, and loved the routine of school life. Every school day was an adventure for her.
But over time, something changed. It started small… a slight grumble about the homework load, a minor complaint about the cafeteria food, a request to skip a class or two. But soon those minor complaints morphed into something much bigger. Emma began to complain of stomach aches every Sunday evening because she was dreading the start of the school week. She was no longer excited about school.
By the time Monday mornings would arrive, she was dragging her feet, reluctant to leave the house. The sparkle in her eyes had dimmed. Instead of eagerly putting on her uniform, she delayed getting dressed and stared out the window with a faraway look in her eyes. And most worrying of all, she was no longer the cheerful, confident child who loved being around her friends. She was now anxious and resisted going to school at all.
This change didn’t happen overnight; once it did, however, I knew there was something deeper happening to cause this shift in attitude toward school. A child’s love for school should be nurtured, not stifled. If you notice this shift — a child who once adored school gradually transforming into an anxious or even miserable student — it’s important to take a deeper look into what’s really happening behind the scenes and at school.
A Change in Behavior at Home and at School
At first, I chalked Emma’s complaints up to typical growing pains. But as her reluctance to go to school grew, so did the signs that something wasn’t right. She began to express frustration with her teachers, the classroom environment, and even her peers. This wasn’t the Emma I knew. She was always so positive and eager to please, so the shift in her attitude toward authority and schoolmates left me concerned.
At home, Emma had trouble going to sleep as her mind turned toward school, worried about what she might have missed during the day or whether she forgot to submit an assignment. Her enthusiasm for school projects dwindled, and she no longer had the energy to engage in activities that she once loved. Her once-tireless energy was now a constant feeling of exhaustion.
Most heartbreakingly, Emma’s fear of making mistakes began to take over. This wasn’t just about her grades either; it was about her self-esteem. She was terrified of getting something wrong, of being judged by her teachers or peers. That sense of perfectionism, once something I admired in her, became a source of intense anxiety.
When a child who once loved learning starts to feel overwhelmed and exhausted by school, it’s time to reassess whether the school environment is still the right fit. A child should feel supported and safe to make mistakes. When they start to feel like everything is riding on their performance, that’s a clear sign something needs to change.
Physical and Emotional Health Is Affected
The most alarming part of Emma’s shift wasn’t just her attitude or behavior, it was the physical symptoms that accompanied her anxiety. Sunday night stomach aches turned into headaches, and she started complaining that she was tired all the time. She would frequently wake up in the morning feeling “sick” and reluctant to go to school. Her teachers started noticing the change too, and her once-steady academic performance began to slip as she struggled with her physical ailments as well as the pressure to keep up with assignments and deadlines.
When did I know it was time to take action? When her worries grew from just a few moments of anxiety to become an overwhelming, daily hindrance that affected her physical and emotional health. Anxiety, stress, and fear should never be constant companions for a child, especially not when they are at school.
As a parent and an educator, I felt torn. How could I, as a school leader, allow my own child to experience such distress in an environment I believed in so strongly? This turned into a lesson for me — that even the best schools may not be the right fit for every child at every stage of their development. In Emma’s case, the school environment wasn’t meeting her needs anymore, and it was beginning to take a toll on her health.
The Decision to Change Schools
After months of reflection, we made the difficult decision to move Emma to a different school. It wasn’t an easy choice; leaving behind familiar faces, teachers, and routines is never simple. But what we realized was that Emma’s mental and emotional well-being had to come first.
It’s not that her previous school was “bad” or lacked quality; it was just no longer the right fit for her. Every child is unique, and sometimes a shift in environment, a place that nurtures their growing confidence, reduces stress, and meets their individual learning needs, can make all the difference.
Since the switch, Emma has slowly started to reclaim the joy she once had for learning. She’s smiling again. Her energy has returned. And while she still has moments of worry and anxiety, these can be attributed to a natural part of growing up, and she is learning how to cope with them in a healthier way.
In Conclusion
If you see your child go from eager to reluctant, from joyful to anxious, or from confident to fearful, it’s time to have a heart-to-heart. Trust your instincts. Observe the signs closely. No child should dread going to school, and no child should feel like they’re constantly falling short. It may be a sign that it’s time to switch schools and to find a place where they can flourish and feel supported.
As a parent, I know that change can feel scary, but I also know that sometimes it’s the best thing we can do for our children. Trust yourself. Trust your child. And always remember that there is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to education. Every child deserves to feel safe, happy, and inspired at school. And if that’s not happening, it’s okay to make a change, for their sake and for your peace of mind.
Wishing you all the best on this journey of finding the right fit for your child.
About the Author: With a passion for innovative education, Dr. Christina Seamster brings extensive experience and enthusiasm to her role as Head of Schools at Stanza Education Corporation. Christina is dedicated to shaping and expanding cutting-edge, non-traditional learning opportunities tailored to the needs of today’s students. Her journey includes opening and nurturing thriving non-traditional schools, managing virtual learning environments, and leading educational technology initiatives. She has a proven track record of creating dynamic school communities that cater to diverse learning styles. With a robust background in both traditional and digital education settings, Dr. Seamster excels in fostering environments where innovative learning approaches and individual student needs are seamlessly integrated, ensuring every learner thrives in today’s ever-evolving educational landscape.